baked Beans

[stoneybroke]

Baked Beans - This is hilarious!



One day I met a sweet
gentleman and fell in love. When it became
apparent that we would
marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave ! up

beans.


Some months later, on my
birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived
in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be
late because I had to walk home. On my
way, I passed by a small diner
and the odour of baked beans was more
than I could stand. With miles
to walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the time I
reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure
that I released all the gas. !



Upon my arrival, my
husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have
a surprise for dinner tonight."



He then blindfolded me
and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took
a seat and just as he was
about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
rang. He made me
promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
and
went
to answer the
call.


The baked beans I had
consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
was becoming most
unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity,
shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It
was not only loud, but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck running over
a skunk in front of a
pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap
and fanned the air around
me vigorously.



Then, shifting to the
other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
! was worse than
cooked cabbage.


Keeping my ears carefully
tuned to the conversation in the other room,
I went on like this for another
few minutes.


The pleasure was
indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells
signalled the
end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more
times with my
napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back
on it feeling
very relieved and pleased with
myself.



My face must have been
the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so
long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him
I had not.



At this point, he removed
the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
around the table
chorused: "Happy Birthday!"



I fainted!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!

[Boot Hill Bandit]

I absolutely ROFL!!! all the way through that!!!!

Now........before I go to the pub........are you a guy or a gal??

I haven't laughed at a joke like that in ages!!!!

Thanks

All I need now is a message from someone else to make my evening complete

Jim