Quickies.........

[Boot Hill Bandit]

How do you teach a blonde maths?

add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter ur square root, leave ur solution & hope she doesnt multiply.

Italian Guy - when I finish making alove to my girlfriend I go down & gently tickle the back of her knees & she floats 6 inches above the bed in ecstasy.

French Guy - Zat is nothing, when I finish with ze girl ah kiss her all ze way down her body & zen lick ze soles of ze feet & she floats 10 inches above the bed in ecstasy.

Scottish Guy - when I finish riding ma burd a wipe ma knob on the sheets & she hits the bloody roof.

Boy asks the chemist for a box of comdoms, the man replies... sorry but we've ran out... have u tried boots?

The boy replies... steady on mate, I only want to shag her, not kick her in!

Blonde takes her car in for a repair, the mechanic fixes it in 2 mins.

Just **** in the air fillter he says.

She replies... oh really? how often do I have to do that then?

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you've already told her twice


Hope thats made everyone laugh today and god help me if a load of women beat me up on the Eastbourne run

Jim

[Boot Hill Bandit]

One for all those guys who ask lesbians out on dates...................

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian." The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of Lesbia are you from?"

so funny!

another.......

A blonde and a redhead were sitting together having drinks, when the blonde noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses. The blonde says to the redhead, "isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?"

The redhead says, yes it is.

The blonde responds by saying, "Oh you are so lucky".

The redhead says, "No I'm not. All that means is that I have to spend the whole week-end flat on my back, with my legs in the air and spread apart."

The blonde says, "Oh my, don't you have a vase to put them in"?


Jim