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January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....
Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power
went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a
slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped
because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108 pounds !!
December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven"
button on the stupid phone!!!
Well it had to be done! what did you honestly expect from me????
Jim
I may even put up some 'male bashing' ones just for you 
sorry if ya don't like the jokes 